jake thackray's last will and testament

 

Ear worms ... some just won't fit because they are so miraculously complicated ... it has taken me hours to transcribe Jake Thackray's Last Will and Testament so far ... and I still haven't entirely understood it's rule-breaking boundary-challenging deliberate structural mis-fits ...

 

 (13) Jake Thackray - Last Will and Testament - YouTube

I, the under-mentioned,

By this document …

Do declare my true intentions,

My last will, my testament.

 

When I turn up me toes, when I rattle me clack, when I agonise,

I want no great wet weepings, no tearing of hair, no wringing of hands,

No sighs, no lack-a-days, no woe-is-me's, and none of your sad adieus.

Go, go, go and get the priest and then go get the booze … Boys …

 

Death, where is thy victory?  Grave, where is thy sting?

When I snuff it, bury me quickly, then let carousals begin …

 

But not a do with a few ham sandwiches, a sausage roll or two and "A small port wine, please" 

Roll the carpet right back, get cracking with your old Gay Gordons

And your knees up, shake it up, live it up, sup it up, hell of a kind of a time …

And if the coppers come around, well, tell them ... the party's mine … Boys …

 

Let best beef be eaten, fill every empty glass,
Let no breast be beaten, let no tooth be gnashed.

 

Don't bother with a fancy tombstone or a big-deal angel or a little copper flower pot plant

A dog-rose in my eyes or a pussy-willow but no forget-me-nots,

No epitaphs, no keepsakes; you can let me memory slip

You can say a prayer or two for me soul then, but make it quick … Boys …

 

Lady, if your bosom is heaving, don't waste your bosom on me

Let it heave for a man who's breathing, a man who feels, a man who can see

 

And to my cronies, you can read my books, you can drive around in my motor car

And you can fish your trout with my fly and tackle, you can play on my guitar,

And sing me songs, wear me shirts, you can even settle me debts

You can kiss my little missus if she's willing then, but no regrets … Boys …

 

Your rosebuds are numbered,

Gather them now for rosebuds' sake,

And if your hands aren't too encumbered

Gather a bud or two for Jake.