the new emotional blackmailer's handbook

Monday, July 29, 2013

telling rooks from crows whilst moderately sober

http://www.bto.org/about-birds/bird-id/bto-bird-id-corvids

too much port ...

just so you'll know when to cover up the cut glass mirrors with velvet victorian table cloths ... this storm tracker shows you all the lightning in the last sixty minutes as twinkly dots

http://www.isleofwightweather.co.uk/live_storm_data.htm

many thanx to brainiac mudman paul kilkie who mentioned this site recently

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Conversations On The Run

A delivery man has to tailor his naturally philosophical discourse to the short time span of his frequent encounters with favoured customers.

The subject of haircuts “cropped up” yesterday.

My “Back To The Future” styling was widely deplored, especially by Mo and Paul, who control the flow of goods in to a large hotel near the centre of Crawley.

I explained that my hairstyle seems appropriate because of my spare-time interest in experimenting with high voltages as I endeavour to achieve using a seven and a half ton truck what was eminently do-able in the original fillum with a De Lorean sports car.

But I’m also interested in bio-energy, I continued, and have set up a laboratory in a mountain-top castle where I am endeavouring to create the ideal backstairs workman for the hotel industry. I have already succeeded in some preliminary experiments where I transplanted the brain of a frog in to the body of a handsome prince. Indeed, the Spanish Royal Family have been very generous with their time.

In conclusion, I hoped it might be possible to combine their best qualities in one hybrid, so that if they can decide amongst themselves over the weekend which parts of Mo and which parts of Paul are best, then my assistant, Igor, will be around with the tape measure and the marker pen on Monday morning.

paris post script ... voila ! voile ! well sort of ... for the first time in my life, i bought a piece of fabric ... in the bastille street market

Monday, July 22, 2013

indulgence deferred ... virtue rewarded

last night i realized it wouldn't be possible to drink beer all week in this weather

so i filled the empty bottle with tap water and put it back in the fridge

and this afternoon it tastes just as satisfying as leffe ...

which might be a convincing demonstration of the placebo effect

NB this may be the first time in nearly 64 years that i've adhered to the notion of deferred gratification

... if only because i've learned that accelerated regression has a terminal velocity