... of the seven deadly sins, the eighth and most horrid is emotional blackmail ... whilst for this blogger, the only sacred thing is life itself
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having faintly praised spinoza earlier in the day, i then came across this short story by isaac bashevis singer ... and i loved it
The Spinoza of Market Street
By Isaac Bashevis Singer
Dr. Nahum Fischelson paced back and forth in his garret room
in Market Street, Warsaw. Dr. Fischelson
was a short, hunched man with a grayish beard, and was quite bald except for a
few wisps of hair remaining at the nape of the neck. His nose was as crooked as a beak and his eyes
were large, dark, and fluttering like those of some huge bird. It was a hot
summer evening, but Dr. Fischelson wore a black coat which reached to his
knees, and he had on a stiff collar and a bow tie. From the door he paced slowly to the dormer
window set high in the slanting room and back again. One had to mount several steps to look out. A candle in a brass holder was burning on the
table and a variety of insects buzzed around the flame. Now and again one of the creatures would fly
too close to the fire and sear its wings, or one would ignite and glow on the
wick for an instant. At such moments Dr.
Fischelson grimaced. His wrinkled face
would twitch and beneath his disheveled moustache he would bite his lips. Finally he took a handkerchief from his pocket
and waved it at the insects.
"Away from there, fools and imbeciles," he scolded.
"You won't get warm here; you'll
only burn yourself."
The insects scattered but a second later returned and once
more circled the trembling flame. Dr.
Fischelson wiped the sweat from his wrinkled forehead and sighed, "Like
men they desire nothing but the pleasure of the moment." On the table lay an open book written in
Latin, and on its broad-margined pages were notes and comments printed in small
letters by Dr. Fischelson. The book was
Spinoza's Ethics and Dr. Fischelson had been studying it for the last thirty
years. He knew every proposition, every
proof, every corollary, every note by heart. When he wanted to find a particular passage,
he generally opened to the place immediately without having to search for it. But, nevertheless, he continued to study the
Ethics for hours every day with a magnifying glass in his bony hand, murmuring
and nodding his head in agreement. The
truth was that the more Dr. Fischelson studied, the more puzzling sentences,
unclear passages, and cryptic remarks he found. Each sentence contained hints unfathomed by
any of the students of Spinoza. Actually
the philosopher had anticipated all of the criticisms of pure reason made by
Kant and his followers. Dr. Fischelson
was writing a commentary on the Ethics. He
had drawers full of notes and drafts, but it didn't seem that he would ever be
able to complete his work. The stomach
ailment which had plagued him for years was growing worse from day to day. Now he would get pains in his stomach after
only a few mouthfuls of oatmeal. "God
in Heaven, it's difficult, very difficult," he would say to himself using
the same intonation as had his father, the late Rabbi of Tishevitz. "It's very, very hard."
Dr. Fischelson was not afraid of dying. To begin with, he was no longer a young man. Secondly, it is stated in the fourth part of
the Ethics that "a free man thinks of nothing less than of death and his
wisdom is a meditation not of death, but of life." Thirdly, it is also said that "the human
mind cannot be absolutely destroyed with the human body but there is some part
of it that remains eternal." And
yet Dr. Fischelson's ulcer (or perhaps it was a cancer) continued to bother
him. His tongue was always coated. He belched frequently and emitted a different
foul-smelling gas each time. He suffered
from heartburn and cramps. At times he
felt like vomiting and at other times he was hungry for garlic, onions, and
fried foods. He had long ago discarded
the medicines prescribed for him by the doctors and had sought his own
remedies. He found it beneficial to take
grated radish after meals and lie on his bed, belly down, with his head hanging
over the side. But these home remedies
offered only temporary relief. Some of
the doctors he consulted insisted there was nothing the matter with him. "It's just nerves," they told him. "You could live to be a hundred."
But on this particular hot summer night, Dr. Fischelson felt
his strength ebbing. His knees were
shaky, his pulse weak. He sat down to
read and his vision blurred. The letters
on the page turned from green to gold. The
lines became waved and jumped over each other, leaving white gaps as if the
text had disappeared in some mysterious way. The heat was unbearable, flowing down directly
from the tin roof; Dr. Fischelson felt he was inside of an oven. Several times he climbed the four steps to the
window and thrust his head out into the cool of the evening breeze. He would remain in that position for so long
his knees would become wobbly. "Oh it's a fine breeze," he would
murmur, "really delightful," and he would recall that according to
Spinoza, morality and happiness were identical, and that the most moral deed a
man could perform was to indulge in some pleasure which was not contrary to
reason.
II
Dr. Fischelson, standing on the top step at the window and
looking out, could see into two worlds. Above
him were the heavens, thickly strewn with stars. Dr. Fischelson had never seriously studied
astronomy but he could differentiate between the planets, those bodies which
like the earth, revolve around the sun, and the fixed stars, themselves distant
suns, whose light reaches us a hundred or even a thousand years later. He recognized the constellations which mark
the path of the earth in space and that nebulous sash, the Milky Way. Dr. Fischelson owned a small telescope he had
bought in Switzerland where he had studied and he particularly enjoyed looking
at the moon through it. He could clearly
make out on the moon's surface the volcanoes bathed in sunlight and the dark,
shadowy craters. He never wearied of
gazing at these cracks and crevasses. To
him they seemed both near and distant, both substantial and insubstantial. Now and then he would see a shooting star
trace a wide arc across the sky and disappear, leaving a fiery trail behind it.
Dr. Fischelson would know then that a
meteorite had reached our atmosphere, and perhaps some unburned fragment of it
had fallen into the ocean or had landed in the desert or perhaps even in some
inhabited region. Slowly the stars which
had appeared from behind Dr. Fischelson's roof rose until they were shining
above the house across the street. Yes,
when Dr. Fischelson looked up into the heavens, he became aware of that
infinite extension which is, according to Spinoza, one of God's attributes. It comforted Dr. Fischelson to think that
although he was only a weak, puny man, a changing mode of the absolutely
infinite Substance, he was nevertheless a part of the cosmos, made of the same
matter as the celestial bodies; to the extent that he was a part of the
Godhead, he knew he could not be destroyed. In such moments, Dr. Fischelson experienced
the Amor Dei Intellectualis which is, according to the philosopher of
Amsterdam, the highest perfection of the mind. Dr. Fischelson breathed deeply, lifted his
head as high as his stiff collar permitted and actually felt he was whirling in
company with the earth, the sun, the stars of the Milky Way, and the infinite
host of galaxies known only to infinite thought. His legs became light and weightless and he
grasped the window frame with both hands as if afraid he would lose his footing
and fly out into eternity.
When Dr. Fischelson tired of observing the sky, his glance
dropped to Market Street below. He could
see a long strip extending from Yanash's market to Iron Street with the gas
lamps lining it merged into a string of fiery dots. Smoke was issuing from the chimneys on the
black, tin roofs; the bakers were heating their ovens, and here and there
sparks mingled with the black smoke. The
street never looked so noisy and crowded as on a summer evening. Thieves, prostitutes, gamblers, and fences
loafed in the square which looked from above like a pretzel covered with poppy
seeds. The young men laughed coarsely
and the girls shrieked. A peddler with a
keg of lemonade on his back pierced the general din with his intermittent
cries. A watermelon vendor shouted in a
savage voice, and the long knife which he used for cutting the fruit dripped
with the blood-like juice. Now and again
the street became even more agitated. Fire
engines, their heavy wheels clanging, sped by; they were drawn by sturdy black
horses which had to be tightly curbed to prevent them from running wild. Next came an ambulance, its siren screaming. Then some thugs had a fight among themselves
and the police had to be called. A
passerby was robbed and ran about shouting for help. Some wagons loaded with firewood sought to get
through into the courtyards where the bakeries were located but the horses
could not lift the wheels over the steep curbs and the drivers berated the
animals and lashed them with their whips. Sparks rose from the clanging hoofs. It was now long after seven, which was the
prescribed closing time for stores, but actually business had only begun. Customers were led in stealthily through back
doors. The Russian policemen on the
street, having been paid off, noticed nothing of this. Merchants continued to hawk their wares, each
seeking to outshout the others.
"Gold, gold, gold," a woman who dealt in rotten
oranges shrieked.
"Sugar, sugar, sugar," croaked a dealer of overripe
plums.
"Heads, heads, heads," a boy who sold fishheads
roared.
Through the window of a Chassidic study house across the way,
Dr. Fischelson could see boys with long sidelocks swaying over holy volumes,
grimacing and studying aloud in singsong voices. Butchers, porters, and fruit dealers were
drinking beer in the tavern below. Vapor
drifted from the tavern's open door like steam from a bathhouse, and there was
the sound of loud music. Outside of the
tavern, streetwalkers snatched at drunken soldiers and at workers on their way
home from the factories. Some of the men
carried bundles of wood on their shoulders, reminding Dr. Fischelson of the
wicked who are condemned to kindle their own fires in Hell. Husky record players poured out their raspings
through open windows. The liturgy of the
high holidays alternated with vulgar vaudeville songs.
Dr. Fischelson peered into the half-lit bedlam and cocked his
ears. He knew that the behaviour of this rabble was the very antithesis of
reason. These people were immersed in
the vainest of passions, were drunk with emotions, and, according to Spinoza,
emotion was never good. Instead of the
pleasure they ran after, all they succeeded in obtaining was disease and
prison, shame and the suffering that resulted from ignorance. Even the cats which loitered on the roofs here
seemed more savage and passionate than those in other parts of the town. They caterwauled with the voices of women in
labour, and like demons scampered up walls and leaped onto eaves and balconies.
One of the toms paused at Dr.
Fischelson's window and let out a howl which made Dr. Fischelson shudder. The doctor stepped from the window and,
picking up a broom, brandished it in front of the black beast's glowing, green
eyes. "Scat, begone, you ignorant
savage!"--and he rapped the broom handle against the roof until the tom
ran off.
III
When Dr. Fischelson had returned to Warsaw from Zurich where
he had studied philosophy, a great future had been predicted for him. His friends had known that he was writing an
important book on Spinoza. A Jewish
Polish journal had invited him to be a contributor; he had been a frequent
guest at several wealthy households and he had been made head librarian at the
Warsaw synagogue. Although even then he
had been considered an old bachelor, the matchmakers had proposed several rich
girls for him. But Dr. Fischelson had
not taken advantage of these opportunities. He had wanted to be as independent as Spinoza
himself. And he had been. But because of his heretical ideas he had come
into conflict with the rabbi and had had to resign his post as librarian. For years after that, he had supported himself
by giving private lessons in Hebrew and German. Then, when he had become sick, the Berlin
Jewish community had voted him a subsidy of five hundred marks a year. This had been made possible through the
intervention of the famous Dr. Hildesheimer with whom he corresponded about
philosophy. In order to get by on so
small a pension, Dr. Fischelson had moved into the attic room and had begun
cooking his own meals on a kerosene stove. He had a cupboard which had many drawers, and
each drawer was labelled with the food it contained -- buckwheat, rice, barley,
onions, carrots, potatoes, mushrooms. Once
a week Dr. Fischelson put on his wide-brimmed black hat, took a basket in one
hand and Spinoza's Ethics in the other, and went off to the market for his
provisions. While he was waiting to be
served, he would open the Ethics. The
merchants knew him and would motion him to their stalls.
"A fine piece of cheese, Doctor--just melts in your
mouth." "Fresh mushrooms,
Doctor, straight from the woods." "Make
way for the Doctor, ladies," the butcher would shout. "Please don't block the entrance."
During the early years of his sickness, Dr. Fischelson had
still gone in the evening to a café which was frequented by Hebrew teachers and
other intellectuals. It had been his
habit to sit there and play chess while drinking a half a glass of black
coffee. Sometimes he would stop at the
bookstores on Holy Cross Street where all sorts of old books and magazines
could be purchased cheap. On one occasion
a former pupil of his had arranged to meet him at a restaurant one evening. When Dr. Fischelson arrived, he had been
surprised to find a group of friends and admirers who forced him to sit at the
head of the table while they made speeches about him. But these were things that had happened long
ago. Now people were no longer
interested in him. He had isolated
himself completely and had become a forgotten man. The events of 1905 when the boys of Market
Street had begun to organize strikes, throw bombs at police stations, and shoot
strike-breakers so that the stores were closed even on weekdays had greatly
increased his isolation. He began to
despise everything associated with the modern Jew -- Zionism, socialism,
anarchism. The young men in question
seemed to him nothing but an ignorant rabble intent on destroying society,
society without which no reasonable existence was possible. He still read a Hebrew magazine occasionally,
but he felt contempt for modern Hebrew which had no roots in the Bible or the
Mishnah. The spelling of Polish words
had changed also. Dr. Fischelson
concluded that even the so-called spiritual men had abandoned reason and were
doing their utmost to pander to the mob. Now and again he still visited a library and
browsed through some of the modern histories of philosophy, but he found that
the professors did not understand Spinoza, quoted him incorrectly, attributed
their own muddled ideas to the philosopher. Although Dr. Fischelson was well aware that
anger was an emotion unworthy of those who walk the path of reason, he would
become furious, and would quickly close the book and push it from him. "Idiots," he would mutter,
"asses, upstarts." And he
would vow never again to look at modern philosophy.
IV
Every three months a special mailman who only delivered money
orders brought Dr. Fischelson eighty roubles. He expected his quarterly allotment at the
beginning of July but as day after day passed and the tall man with the blond
moustache and the shiny buttons did not appear, the Doctor grew anxious. He had scarcely a groshen left. Who knows -- possibly the Berlin Community had
rescinded his subsidy; perhaps Dr. Hildesheimer had died, God forbid; the post
office might have made a mistake. Every
event has its cause, Dr. Fischelson knew. All was determined, all necessary, and a man
of reason had no right to worry. Nevertheless,
worry invaded his brain, and buzzed about like the flies. If the worst came to the worst, it occurred to
him, he could commit suicide, but then he remembered that Spinoza did not
approve of suicide and compared those who took their own lives to the insane.
One day when Dr. Fischelson went out to a store to purchase a
composition book, he heard people talking about war. In Serbia somewhere, an Austrian Prince had
been shot and the Austrians had delivered an ultimatum to the Serbs. The owner of the store, a young man with a
yellow beard and shifty yellow eyes, announced, "We are about to have a
small war," and he advised Dr. Fischelson to store up food because in the
near future there was likely to be a shortage.
Everything happened so quickly. Dr. Fischelson had not even
decided whether it was worthwhile to spend four groshen on a newspaper, and
already posters had been hung up announcing mobilization. Men were to be seen walking on the street with
round, metal tags on their lapels, a sign that they were being drafted. They were followed by their crying wives. One Monday when Dr. Fischelson descended to
the street to buy some food with his last kopecks, he found the stores closed. The owners and their wives stood outside and
explained that merchandise was unobtainable. But certain special customers were pulled to
one side and let in through back doors. On
the street all was confusion. Policemen
with swords unsheathed could be seen riding on horseback. A large crowd had gathered around the tavern
where, at the command of the Tsar, the tavern's stock of whiskey was being
poured into the gutter.
Dr. Fischelson went to his old café. Perhaps he would find some acquaintances there
who would advise him. But he did not
come across a single person he knew. He
decided, then, to visit the rabbi of the synagogue where he had once been
librarian, but the sexton with the six-sided skull cap informed him that the
rabbi and his family had gone off to the spas. Dr. Fischelson had other old friends in town
but he found no one at home. His feet
ached from so much walking; black and green spots appeared before his eyes and
he felt faint. He stopped and waited for
the giddiness to pass. The passers-by jostled him. A dark-eyed high school girl
tried to give him a coin. Although the
war had just started, soldiers eight abreast were marching in full battle dress
-- the men were covered with dust and were sunburnt. Canteens were strapped to their sides and they
wore rows of bullets across their chests. The bayonets on their rifles gleamed with a
cold, green light. They sang with
mournful voices. Along with the men came
cannons, each pulled by eight horses; their blind muzzles breathed gloomy
terror. Dr. Fischelson felt nauseous. His stomach ached; his intestines seemed about
to turn themselves inside out. Cold
sweat appeared on his face.
"I'm dying," he thought. "This is the end." Nevertheless, he did manage to drag himself
home where he lay down on the iron cot and remained, panting and gasping. He must have dozed off because he imagined
that he was in his home town, Tishvitz. He
had a sore throat and his mother was busy wrapping a stocking stuffed with hot
salt around his neck. He could hear talk
going on in the house; something about a candle and about how a frog had bitten
him. He wanted to go out into the street
but they wouldn't let him because a Catholic procession was passing by. Men in long robes, holding double edged axes
in their hands, were intoning in Latin as they sprinkled holy water. Crosses gleamed; sacred pictures waved in the
air. There was an odour of incense and
corpses. Suddenly the sky turned a
burning red and the whole world started to burn. Bells were ringing; people rushed madly about.
Flocks of birds flew overhead,
screeching. Dr. Fischelson awoke with a
start. His body was covered with sweat
and his throat was now actually sore. He
tried to meditate about his extraordinary dream, to find its rational
connection with what was happening to him and to comprehend it sub specie
eternitatis, but none of it made sense. "Alas,
the brain is a receptacle for nonsense," Dr. Fischelson thought. "This earth belongs to the mad."
And he once more closed his eyes; once more he dozed; once
more he dreamed.
V
The eternal laws, apparently, had not yet ordained Dr.
Fischelson's end.
There was a door to the left of Dr. Fischelson's attic room
which opened off a dark corridor, cluttered with boxes and baskets, in which
the odor of fried onions and laundry soap was always present. Behind this door lived a spinster whom the
neighbours called Black Dobbe. Dobbe was
tall and lean, and as black as a baker's shovel. She had a broken nose and there was a mustache
on her upper lip. She spoke with the
hoarse voice of a man and she wore men's shoes. For years Black Dobbe had sold breads, rolls,
and bagels which she had bought from the baker at the gate of the house. But one day she and the baker had quarrelled
and she had moved her business to the market place and now she dealt in what
were called "wrinklers" which was a synonym for cracked eggs. Black Dobbe had no luck with men. Twice she had been engaged to baker's
apprentices but in both instances they had returned the engagement contract to
her. Some time afterwards she had
received an engagement contract from an old man, a glazier who claimed that he
was divorced, but it had later come to light that he still had a wife. Black Dobbe had a cousin in America, a
shoemaker, and repeatedly she boasted that this cousin was sending her passage,
but she remained in Warsaw. She was
constantly being teased by the women who would say, "There's no hope for
you, Dobbe. You're fated to die an old
maid." Dobbe always answered,
"I don't intend to be a slave for any man. Let them all rot."
That afternoon Dobbe received a letter from America. Generally she would go to Leizer the Tailor
and have him read it to her. However,
that day Leizer was out and so Dobbe thought of Dr. Fischelson whom the other
tenants considered a convert since he never went to prayer. She knocked on the door of the doctor's room
but there was no answer. "The
heretic is probably out," Dobbe thought but, nevertheless, she knocked
once more, and this time the door moved slightly. She pushed her way in and stood there
frightened. Dr. Fischelson lay fully
clothed on his bed; his face was as yellow as wax; his Adam's apple stuck out
prominently; his beard pointed upward. Dobbe
screamed; she was certain that he was dead, but – no -- his body moved. Dobbe picked up a glass which stood on the
table, ran into the corridor, filled the glass with water from the faucet,
hurried back, and threw the water into the face of the unconscious man. Dr. Fischelson shook his head and opened his
eyes.
"What's wrong with you?," Dobbe asked. "Are you sick?"
"Thank you very much. No."
"Have you a family? I'll call them."
"No family," Dr. Fischelson said.
Dobbe wanted to fetch the barber from across the street but
Dr. Fischelson signified that he didn't wish the barber's assistance. Since Dobbe was not going to the market that
day, no "wrinklers" being available, she decided to do a good deed. She assisted the sick man to get off the bed
and smoothed down the blanket. Then she
undressed Dr. Fischelson and prepared some soup for him on the kerosene stove. The sun never entered Dobbe's room, but here
squares of sunlight shimmered on the faded walls. The floor was painted red. Over the bed hung a picture of a man who was
wearing a broad frill around his neck and had long hair. "Such an old fellow and yet he keeps his
place so nice and clean," Dobbe thought approvingly. Dr. Fischelson asked for the Ethics, and she
gave it to him disapprovingly. She was
certain it was a gentile prayer book. Then
she began bustling about, brought in a pail of water, swept the floor. Dr. Fischelson ate; after he had finished, he
was much stronger and Dobbe asked him to read her the letter.
He read it slowly, the paper trembling in his hands. It came from New York, from Dobbe's cousin. Once more he wrote that he was about to send
her a "really important letter" and a ticket to America. By now, Dobbe knew the story by heart and she
helped the old man decipher her cousin's scrawl. "He's lying," Dobbe said. "He forgot about me a long time
ago." In the evening, Dobbe came
again. A candle in a brass holder was
burning on the chair next to the bed. Reddish
shadows trembled on the walls and ceiling. Dr. Fischelson sat propped up in bed, reading
a book. The candle threw a golden light
on his forehead which seemed as if cleft in two. A bird had flown in through the window and was
perched on the table. For a moment Dobbe
was frightened. This man made her think
of witches, of black mirrors and corpses wandering around at night and
terrifying women. Nevertheless, she took
a few steps toward him and inquired, "How are you? Any better?"
"A little, thank you."
"Are you really a convert?" she asked although she
wasn't quite sure what the word meant.
"Me, a convert? No, I'm a Jew like any other Jew," Dr.
Fischelson answered.
The doctor's assurances made Dobbe feel more at home. She found the bottle of kerosene and lit the
stove, and after that she fetched a glass of milk from her room and began
cooking kasha. Dr. Fischelson continued
to study the Ethics, but that evening he could make no sense of the theorems
and proofs with their many references to axioms and definitions and other
theorems. With trembling hand he raised
the book to his eyes and read, "The idea of each modification of the human
body does not involve adequate knowledge of the human body itself. . .
.FIX-ALL/ The idea of the idea of each modification of the human mind does not
involve adequate knowledge of the human mind."
VI
Dr. Fischelson was certain he would die any day now. He made out his will, leaving all of his books
and manuscripts to the synagogue library. His clothing and furniture would go to Dobbe
since she had taken care of him. But
death did not come. Rather his health
improved. Dobbe returned to her business
in the market, but she visited the old man several times a day, prepared soup
for him, left him a glass of tea, and told him news of the war. The Germans had occupied Kalish, Bendin, and
Cestechow, and they were marching on Warsaw. People said that on a quiet
morning one could hear the rumblings of the cannon. Dobbe reported that the casualties were heavy.
"They're falling like flies,"
she said. "What a terrible
misfortune for the women."
She couldn't explain why, but the old man's attic room
attracted her. She liked to remove the gold-rimmed
books from the bookcase, dust them, and then air them on the window sill. She would climb the few steps to the window
and look out through the telescope. She
also enjoyed talking to Dr. Fischelson. He
told her about Switzerland where he had studied, of the great cities he had
passed through, of the high mountains that were covered with snow even in the
summer. His father had been a rabbi, he
said, and before he, Dr. Fischelson, had become a student, he had attended a
yeshiva. She asked him how many
languages he knew and it turned out that he could speak and write Hebrew,
Russian, German, and French, in addition to Yiddish. He also knew Latin. Dobbe was astonished that such an educated man
should live in an attic room on Market Street. But what amazed her most of all
was that although he had the title "Doctor," he couldn't write
prescriptions. "Why don't you
become a real doctor?" she would ask him. "I am a doctor," he would answer. "I'm just not a physician." "What kind of a doctor?" "A doctor of philosophy." Although she had no idea of what this meant,
she felt it must be very important. "Oh
my blessed mother," she would say, "where did you get such a
brain?"
Then one evening after Dobbe had given him his crackers and
his glass of tea with milk, he began questioning her about where she came from,
who her parents were, and why she had not married. Dobbe was surprised. No one had ever asked her such questions. She told him her story in a quiet voice and
stayed until eleven o'clock. Her father
had been a porter at the kosher butcher shops. Her mother had plucked chickens in the
slaughterhouse. The family had lived in
a cellar at No. 19 Market Street. When
she had been ten, she had become a maid. The man she had worked for had been a fence
who bought stolen goods from thieves on the square. Dobbe had had a brother who had gone into the
Russian army and had never returned. Her
sister had married a coachman in Praga and had died in childbirth. Dobbe told of the battles between the
underworld and the revolutionaries in 1905, of blind Itche and his gang and how
they collected protection money from the stores, of the thugs who attacked
young boys and girls out on Saturday afternoon strolls if they were not paid
money for security. She also spoke of
the pimps who drove about in carriages and abducted women to be sold in Buenos
Aires. Dobbe swore that some men had
even sought to inveigle her into a brothel, but that she had run away. She complained of a thousand evils done to
her. She had been robbed; her boy friend
had been stolen; a competitor had once poured a pint of kerosene into her
basket of bagels; her own cousin, the shoemaker, had cheated her out of a
hundred roubles before he had left for America. Dr. Fischelson listened to her attentively, he
asked her questions, shook his head, and grunted.
"Well, do you believe in God?" he finally asked
her.
"I don't know," she answered. "Do you?"
"Yes, I believe."
"Then why don't you go to synagogue?" she asked.
"God is everywhere," he replied. "In the synagogue. In the marketplace. In this very room. We ourselves are parts of God."
"Don't say such things," Dobbe said. "You frighten me."
She left the room and Dr. Fischelson was certain she had gone
to bed. But he wondered why she had not
said "good night." "I
probably drove her away with my philosophy," he thought. The very next moment he heard her footsteps. She came in carrying a pile of clothing like a
peddler.
"I wanted to show you these," she said.
"They're my trousseau." And she began to spread out, on the chair,
dresses -- woollen, silk, velvet. Taking
each dress up in turn, she held it to her body. She gave him an account of every item in her
trousseau--underwear, shoes, stockings.
"I'm not wasteful," she said. "I'm a saver. I have enough money to go to America."
Then she was silent and her face turned brick-red. She looked at Dr. Fischelson out of the corner
of her eyes, timidly, inquisitively. Dr.
Fischelson's body suddenly began to shake as if he had the chills. He said, "Very nice, beautiful
things." His brow furrowed and he
pulled at his beard with two fingers. A
sad smile appeared on his toothless mouth and his large fluttering eyes, gazing
into the distance through the attic window, also smiled sadly.
VII
The day that Black Dobbe came to the rabbi's chambers and
announced that she was to marry Dr. Fischelson, the rabbi's wife thought she
had gone mad. But the news had already
reached Leizer the Tailor, and had spread to the bakery, as well as to other
shops. There were those who thought that
the "old maid" was very lucky; the doctor, they said, had a vast
hoard of money. But there were others
who took the view that he was a run-down degenerate who would give her
syphilis. Although Dr. Fischelson had
insisted that the wedding be a small, quiet one, a host of guests assembled in
the rabbi's rooms. The baker's
apprentices who generally went about barefoot, and in their underwear, with
paper bags on the tops of their heads, now put on light-colored suits, straw
hats, yellow shoes, gaudy ties, and they brought with them huge cakes and pans
filled with cookies. They had even
managed to find a bottle of vodka although liquor was forbidden in wartime. When the bride and groom entered the rabbi's
chamber, a murmur arose from the crowd. The
women could not believe their eyes. The
woman that they saw was not the one they had known. Dobbe wore a wide-brimmed
hat which was amply adorned with cherries, grapes, and plumes, and the dress
that she had on was of white silk and was equipped with a train; on her feet
were high-heeled shoes, gold in color, and from her thin neck hung a string of
imitation pearls. Nor was this all: her
fingers sparkled with rings and glittering stones. Her face was veiled. She looked almost like one of those rich
brides who were married in the Vienna Hall. The bakers' apprentices whistled mockingly. As for Dr. Fischelson, he was wearing his
black coat and broad-toed shoes. He was
scarcely able to walk; he was leaning on Dobbe. When he saw the crowd from the doorway, he
became frightened and began to retreat, but Dobbe's former employer approached
him saying, "Come in, come in, bridegroom. Don't be bashful. We are all brethren now."
The ceremony proceeded according to the law. The rabbi, in a worn satin gabardine, wrote
the marriage contract and then had the bride and groom touch his handkerchief
as a token of agreement; the rabbi wiped the point of the pen on his skullcap. Several porters who had been called from the
street to make up the quorum supported the canopy. Dr. Fischelson put on a white robe as a
reminder of the day of his death and Dobbe walked around him seven times as
custom required. The light from the
braided candles flickered on the walls. The
shadows wavered. Having poured wine into
a goblet, the rabbi chanted the benedictions in a sad melody. Dobbe uttered only a single cry. As for the other women, they took out their
lace handkerchiefs and stood with them in their hands, grimacing. When the baker's boys began to whisper
wisecracks to each other, the rabbi put a finger to his lips and murmured,
"Eh nu oh" as a sign that talking was forbidden. The moment came to slip the wedding ring on
the bride's finger, but the bridegroom's hand started to tremble and he had
trouble locating Dobbe's index finger. The
next thing, according to custom, was the smashing of the glass, but though Dr.
Fischelson kicked the goblet several times, it remained unbroken. The girls lowered their heads, pinched each
other gleefully, and giggled. Finally
one of the apprentices struck the goblet with his heel and it shattered. Even the rabbi could not restrain a smile. After the ceremony the guests drank vodka and
ate cookies. Dobbe's former employer
came up to Dr. Fischelson and said, "Mazel tov, bridegroom. Your luck should be as good as your
wife." "Thank you, thank
you," Dr. Fischelson murmured, "but I don't look forward to any
luck." He was anxious to return as
quickly as possible to his attic room. He
felt a pressure in his stomach and his chest ached. His face had become greenish. Dobbe had suddenly become angry. She pulled back her veil and called out to the
crowd, "What are you laughing at? This
isn't a show." And without picking up the cushion-cover in which the gifts
were wrapped, she returned with her husband to their rooms on the fifth floor.
Dr. Fischelson lay down on the freshly made bed in his room
and began reading the Ethics. Dobbe had
gone back to her own room. The doctor
had explained to her that he was an old man, that he was sick and without
strength. He had promised her nothing. Nevertheless she returned wearing a silk
nightgown, slippers with pompoms, and with her hair hanging down over her
shoulders. There was a smile on her face, and she was bashful and hesitant. Dr. Fischelson trembled and the Ethics dropped
from his hands. The candle went out. Dobbe groped for Dr. Fischelson in the dark
and kissed his mouth. "My dear
husband," she whispered to him, "Mazel tov."
What happened that night could be called a miracle. If Dr. Fischelson hadn't been convinced that
every occurrence is in accordance with the laws of nature, he would have
thought that Black Dobbe had bewitched him. Powers long dormant awakened in him. Although he had had only a sip of the
benediction wine, he was as if intoxicated. He kissed Dobbe and spoke to her of love. Long forgotten quotations from Klopfstock,
Lessing, Goethe, rose to his lips. The
pressures and aches stopped. He embraced
Dobbe, pressed her to himself, was again a man as in his youth. Dobbe was faint with delight; crying, she
murmured things to him in a Warsaw slang which he did not understand. Later, Dr. Fischelson slipped off into the
deep sleep young men know. He dreamed
that he was in Switzerland and that he was climbing mountains -- running,
falling, flying. At dawn he opened his
eyes; it seemed to him that someone had blown into his ears. Dobbe was snoring. Dr. Fischelson quietly got out of bed. In his long nightshirt he approached the
window, walked up the steps and looked out in wonder. Market Street was asleep, breathing with a
deep stillness. The gas lamps were
flickering. The black shutters on the
stores were fastened with iron bars. A
cool breeze was blowing. Dr. Fischelson
looked up at the sky. The black arch was
thickly sown with stars -- there were green, red, yellow, blue stars; there
were large ones and small ones, winking and steady ones. There were those that were clustered in dense
groups and those that were alone. In the
higher sphere, apparently, little notice was taken of the fact that a certain
Dr. Fischelson had in his declining days married someone called Black Dobbe. Seen from above even the Great War was nothing
but a temporary play of the modes. The
myriads of fixed stars continued to travel their destined courses in unbounded
space. The comets, planets, satellites, asteroids kept circling these shining
centers. Worlds were born and died in
cosmic upheavals. In the chaos of
nebulae, primeval matter was being formed. Now and again a star tore loose, and swept
across the sky, leaving behind it a fiery streak. It was the month of August when there are
showers of meteors. Yes, the divine
substance was extended and had neither beginning nor end; it was absolute,
indivisible, eternal, without duration, infinite in its attributes. Its waves and bubbles danced in the universal
cauldron, seething with change, following the unbroken chain of causes and
effects, and he, Dr. Fischelson, with his unavoidable fate, was part of this. The doctor closed his eyelids and allowed the
breeze to cool the sweat on his forehead and stir the hair of his beard. He breathed deeply of the midnight air,
supported his shaky hands on the window sill and murmured, "Divine
Spinoza, forgive me. I have become a fool."
--- Translated by
Martha Glicklich and Cecil Hemley
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