... of the seven deadly sins, the eighth and most horrid is emotional blackmail ... whilst for this blogger, the only sacred thing is life itself
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
prosaic .... illustrating my want of imagination
for many years i was troubled by the following uncertainty ... whenever i heard tom jones singing delilah on the radio i was stuck with this notion ... that no woman from pontypridd would have a name as exotic as delilah, and therefore it seemed more probable that delilah would have been living in newport or cardiff
http://thesaurus.com/browse/prosaic
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
if you love maps ... integrated flight maps ... this week's eye-popping air chart of the USA
http://vfrmap.com/
an integrated chart overlaid on a high quality topographical map enables you to navigate US air space
you can flip to high level or low level
sometimes a bit clunky but hardly surprising as the data structure must be enormous
yet another symptom of accelerated regression ...
just after i was changing up in to top gear i realized i was ...
a) sucking my thumb
b) wiggling my toes
a) sucking my thumb
b) wiggling my toes
Monday, April 23, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
doctor william price ... i was led back to him via lucy's blog, "being of sound mind"
from the doorstep of 4 raymond terrace in treforest, a certain small boy could look across the coal black river taff to the green hills above pontypridd and wonder about the man named doctor price who had once lived behind or within those turreted houses, near the top as it seemed then, though not so very high up i realize now, and probably less conspicuous nowadays since the trees have grown
a digression ... i had learned to whistle very loudly and when there was a moment of quiet and not too much wind, it was possible to hear five echoes on my grandparents' doorstep ... but there were complaints of course
it had been explained to me that doctor price had been an advocate of cremation as an alternative to burial, but no one mentioned druidism to me, or chartism, or the rebecca riots
he was also the surgeon for the chain works lower down the hillside, which was still there during my childhood
i wish i'd known all this then
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Price_(physician)
http://www.campaignseries.co.uk/homes/homes_for_sale/in/Pontypridd,%20Wales/from/100000/to/300000/low-to-high/All/with/0/bedrooms/list/1410296/
don't try this one at home ...
myself slumped motionless over the computer with headphones whilst following the soccer all afternoon
herself noisily engaging with eternal backlog of necessary domestic chores
now raise your voice, but don't turn your head, and repeat after me ...
"i know you're only making work noises so i'll think you're busy !"
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
and did those feet in ancient times ... ?
lots of decent human beings exercised their right to vote .... for this feller !
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/georgemonbiot/2012/apr/20/richard-benyons-inclosure-quarry
http://www.defra.gov.uk/corporate/about/who/ministers/benyon/
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/georgemonbiot/2012/apr/20/richard-benyons-inclosure-quarry
http://www.defra.gov.uk/corporate/about/who/ministers/benyon/
Thursday, April 19, 2012
statement for the defence
Gentlemen of the Jury. M’Lud. My client, Miss Crabbe, the former Triumph International model, has instructed me to declare that she strenuously denies the charges of robbery with menaces, and she certainly never would set foot inside that rat-infested flea-bitten manager’s office at her local branch of the Caja de Extramadura.
Despite her
having lived virtually next door to it for the last twenty years, she suggests
this was simply a case of mistaken identity because she is rarely drunk before
mid-day and she only ever uses that kind of bad language, or wears fishnet
stockings, during serious pub crawls on public holidays, unlike some other
women she could mention.
The fact is, ladies
and gentlemen, that on the day in question she was auditioning for a job with a
travelling circus that had camped on the edge the pueblo, and whose colourful poster
showing a handsome weight-lifter had intrigued her artistic sensibilities.
She is indeed
a very sensitive and caring person at the best of times but is often tired out and made light-headed
by all the scrubbing and starching and ironing that Spanish housewives of her moral stature and
giving nature are forced to endure by their cruel and cold-hearted and incredibly narcissistic husbands.
In these
days of political and economic and social turmoil, I’m sure all of you will
understand that even a girl with an iron will and a heart of gold must sometimes need a little
relief and even the most saintly are sometimes susceptible to flattery.
Thus it was
that she boldly accepted the angry challenge of the ringmaster’s wife, ( after being
found with him in the haystack behind that fully-bearded lady’s side show, when
he should have been mucking out the elephants’ cage ), and so Miss Crabbe, or
Lulu as she is affectionately known by the local shepherds and goatherds,
fearlessly strode forth into the centre of the lion tamer’s cage where she
performed her well known party trick ( famous throughout the milking parlours of La Vera and the pig
farms of the Dehesa ) and juggled seven flaming tortillas with only two frying
pans whilst wearing her old school uniform and smoking a cigar, as she often does
when the family gather for recriminations.
( Addendum ...
a foresworn affidavit from Senor Francisco Xavier Heironymus Bosh, Circus Master, states that he was only helping her find a lost jewel-encrusted Lalique safety pin which she needs to hold up her red flannel petticoats )
( Addendum ...
a foresworn affidavit from Senor Francisco Xavier Heironymus Bosh, Circus Master, states that he was only helping her find a lost jewel-encrusted Lalique safety pin which she needs to hold up her red flannel petticoats )
And it is there that my client asks me to rest her case, only pausing to add that the photographs which will inevitably prove her cast-iron alibi haven’t been developed yet but here are the frying pans, still scorched from the act.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
3BT 14th April 2012
Two furiously
discordant throstles dispute an invisible territorial boundary in the middle of Clapham Common. For Heaven’s sake, lads,
it’s a COMMON !
Two goldfinches, their bonces allegedly tinged with the blood of Christ, chirrup sweetly together whilst they search for nest-building material, and remind me of this solemn kidnapped prince.
http://nicepaintings.org/works/84678
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francesco_Sforza_(il_Duchetto)
Dev, born in Bengal in 1932 and literate in Bengali, English, and Sanskrit, a keep-fit die-hard on the Common despite having to take eight prescribed medicines each with their own side-effects, and having five grown up children each with their own set of troubling grumbles, reels off the names of half a dozen of his other films without hesitating when I mention Satyajit Ray’s exquisite film Pather Panchali, and then, after a moment of solemn contemplation, he turns to look at me and whispers one word, gasping as if in reverence of the name and of the beauty it evokes ... "Apu !".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Apu_Trilogy
Thursday, April 12, 2012
at school during the cold war, our understanding of history's fabric didn't include the continuous thread of humour ... here's professor peter hennessy ... a sweet voice of reason
a thirty seven minute talk with two grimly funny stories at the conclusion
http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/documents/CatchUpHistory.mp3
Monday, April 9, 2012
3BT on a dismally wet and windy Easter Monday
In a free exhibition at the National Gallery, a newly restored early work by Titian, The Flight In To Egypt,
(http://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/whats-on/exhibitions/titians-first-masterpiece-the-flight-into-egypt ,
http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2012/apr/03/titian-first-masterpiece-national-gallery?INTCMP=SRCH ),
... it is a remarkable painting by a teenager beginning a long career in Venice and possibly already nostalgic for the lush meadows around his home town of Pieve di Cadore in the foothills of the Alps, about eighty miles north of Venice. The accompanying set of naturalistic etchings and drawings by Durer, who visited Venice for the second time just in time to have probably influenced Titian, are lovely, too.
Entering the
Ritblat Gallery, a treasure house in the British Library, the narrow doorway is
slightly constricted when a young Japanese woman stops in a pool of intense halogen
light to check her smart phone and as I pass her I am enveloped in an
intoxicating cloud of expensive perfume.
Passing the
philatelic section of the British Library I spot a Spanish man and his elderly
parents marvelling at the extraordinary collection of stamps and envelopes
collected after their Civil War, objects of pilgrimage even ? Earlier I’d been sitting near them in the café
when they laughed in disbelief at the awfulness of Peyton and Byrne’s coffee,
arguably The Worst Coffee in the Whole History of the Universe, and certainly
something that even the most desolate and forgotten and far flung village bar in Spain
would be deeply ashamed to serve.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
3BT, 5th April 2012 … no four ! ... no, five !
Just after
four in the morning, the bus to work is trundling through the darkness along
the edge of Clapham Common. On the
Common side of the road, in a brightly lit bus shelter, sits a fox.
In Horsham,
an oncoming vehicle catches my eye. It
is a very old VW Camper, a low-rider, meticulously restored and perfectly re-painted in
cream and white. The driver looks
interesting, a slender man, tweed suit, bow tie, old-fashioned bushy moustache
and, I think although it was only a glimpse, half-moon spectacles. From the cab of my little truck I stare down
into the pale interior which looks as if it has been re-organised and
re-furnished to look a bit like a stretch limo.
On a plush bench seat in the back, with acres of legroom, sits a
laughing bride between her two maids.
My least
favourite word in the lexicon of management-speak is “just”. Can you just … ? Today it is “Can you Just deliver a pallet
for Dubai to an air freighter’s warehouse, as close to twelve as possible ?" This will, of course be in the middle of one
of the year’s busiest working days, the last before the Easter holiday, and
will involve a diversion that will add an hour to an over-long day. Miraculously, after all kinds of delays and
hardships, smoothing out a few customers because of some typical office
blunders, and working flat out from four thirty onwards, I arrive at one minute
to twelve, am unloaded, and depart at one minute past.
Down a grimy
backstreet in chaotic Brixton, a tall girl with an upturned white face and long dark red
hair parted symmetrically, and totally the wrong shade of pale red lipstick on
a un-kiss-ably gloomy mouth, is walking with stately grace, arms straight and
holding a flower pot at zipper height, from which stands incongruously a single
perfect orchid on a very long stalk, its creamy white flower with an erotically
hot pink centre facing forward only six inches away from her lips, as if
embodying or symbolizing or pre-determining the imminence of that magically
transforming kiss.
A big Caribbean mum clambers on to the bus with three carrier bags in each hand. Four children follow, three girls and a tiny boy. The girls ( 7?, 9?, 11? ) are also carrying bags. They have identical spectacular showbiz hairstyles … upwardly mobile dark curls sculpted like flames and culminating in a gold tinted peak well off to the left. All four children have brand new violin cases slung across their backs.
A big Caribbean mum clambers on to the bus with three carrier bags in each hand. Four children follow, three girls and a tiny boy. The girls ( 7?, 9?, 11? ) are also carrying bags. They have identical spectacular showbiz hairstyles … upwardly mobile dark curls sculpted like flames and culminating in a gold tinted peak well off to the left. All four children have brand new violin cases slung across their backs.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
clearly, half the world have already seen this lovely animated fantasy about the life of books ... but that needn't stop me from endorsing it
Monday, April 2, 2012
today would have been george collinson's next birthday, and whilst i mourn him, i know that he would have preferred a smile ...
he was very fond of football, and of original thinking
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur5fGSBsfq8
and he was rarther keen on chess, too, although i can't remember if we ever discussed that game in the context of the life and work of marcel duchamp ... if you can call it all work !
but i digress and so ... to conclude, if there's a collinson-type of heaven, then it should be very easy for us to track him down when we arrive by the sound of his booming laughter
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Saturday, March 31, 2012
serendipitize for long enough and ye shall find ... renaud garcia-fons !
one of my grandfathers was a coal miner in wales, the dust finished him
this old radio classic is available on the bbc for a few days
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/b00lm92q
off to walk the dog again ... i find it helps to have the appropriate music in my ears when i'm skulking on the common
put yer headphones on and get yer ears ravished 1973 style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1Pa_FxaoAU
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
3BT
As the truck roars by the edge of their field, two wild rabbits sit up from their breakfast, and their pricking ears are illuminated with the early sunlight.
In the smart new kitchen at Ockenden Manor, I make an early delivery which coincides with the moment when Murielle, their wonderful French baker and patissier and chocolatier, is handing out some little slices of a cake she’s made with walnuts and oranges. It is probably what the Gods eat when she’s at home in those southern mountains.
At the bottom of Horsted Keynes village, I approach the chicane-cum-crossroad with a caution born of experience. The hedges make it a blind junction and there are aged pedestrians in sight. As I slow to about 20mph for the left-hander, so a brand new Range-Rover coming from the opposite direction, and driven by a woman young enough to be my daughter, cuts across my path at about 50mph. I stand on the brake and the truck demonstrates the efficiency of its electronic traction control with a brief skid, the tyres squeal but there is no sign of a wobble. She shoots by with a look of terror on her face. In the mirror I am pleased to see nothing but a little cloud of blue smoke illuminated with the early sunlight.
and later ... three more illuminated and beautiful things
The first yellow butterfly of the year flitting past an oakwood.
A green woodpecker flying along side a dark bank of cypress trees.
A huge spherical bumblebee, with long black hairs and a bright orange bum, hovering besides a metallic purple car.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
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